Graduated

16th of June 2010,
I am finally graduated with a 2nd Class Honour Degree in Hotel and Tourism Management.
I wanted to smile today, but I can't do it naturally, and I faking myself to be happy in the picture to make myself look nice on the graduation day. But my feeling back there is I just want to hide in the toilet and cry as much as I can and go back to my own home.

I am supposingly to be happy, right?
But the truth is, I am not, I don't feel any joy, happiness, fun, or satisfaction since I was studying in Switzerland 6 months ago till today, as I am graduated.

You know what, I only feel proud of myself for trying my best to study so hard, push and forcing myself to do my best till the moment I go up to the stage and get my Certificate.

The only thing that I feel happy is the moment I went to Lausanne to visit my aunty friend, Aunty Ann which is working there. Although I just went there for 2 days 1 night, but what I get is the careness and family warmness which I had back in Malaysia.

I wonder what is wrong with me after I came to Switzerland, I duno who am I anymore, I've lost myself, I had become a very undecisive and confidentless person.

There are always funny feeling in our life's, when I am at home, I always feels like going out, but when I am far far away from home, I just wish I could back to my own home and never go out again.

I told myself, it is time to grow up already, but I am, it is just that, I wish to grow up with my family, because I love my family and I wanted to be at home. I rather had my mum that always nagging at me when I am always with my laptop, outing till midnight, being lazy and ignorance.
I hate the feeling of no people caring for me, being lonely, no people chatting with me or when the time I am lost.

I don't know how long more I can last staying in Switzerland, as in another 2 weeks time, I will need to start my internship from 1st of July till the end of December 2010. I really really hope I can finish all this shit as soon as possible so that I can be back to Malaysia.

Mom and Dad, I hate Switzerland!!! I wish I could never ever ever ever ever come back to Switzerland if there are nothing important. I'm sorry for telling you this, but seriously, I am really really unhappy staying here. Studying here for better qualification is never a wrong choice, but it is somehow a very very bad moment in my Life's. To be honest, it is better if neither of you don't come to visit me here because I really really hate this place more than anything else.

Dad, I really really understand how you feel on your working enviroment and situation, as it is, I really really do my best till I graduated today because I've never wanted to fail you and I want to make you happy and achieve something for myself.

Dad, I seriously appreciate on what you've taught me till this age, and I love you.
Mom, I seriously wish to have you nagging at me all the time and never seperate between me and you.
Sis, I don't mind if you could be better than me, but I just hope to see you to be success in the future and yet you are still respecting me as you elder brother.
Bro, I realy wish you know what is right and what is wrong, don't always play computer and ignore your studies, games will never brings you any profit for your future. Anyhow, I do care and wish you all the best. Study hard.
Gupo, besides supporting me finacial on behave, you do always teach me what is right and what is wrong, but somehow, not everything could be absorbed into me. You treat me well and take good care of me all the time.
Dear Dear, I'm sorry that I had to be seperated with you for a year as to study here and work here in Switzerland. But my soul and love are always with you even we are not in the same place.

Dad, Mom, Sis, Bro, Gupo and Dear Dear, I love you all more than anyone else.
I really wanted to back to Malaysia and never seperate with you all ever again.

When I am writting this letter, I am writting it with full of memory and tears.

When a child is at home, the child will always want to go out,
When that child is far far away from home, the child will rather stay at home and never go out.

Liew Wai Loon. (2010)